Aiming perfection? Dream on!
Recently, I read an article in a well known news paper (alright, it's Times Of India) on a new study done which showed that practice does not always make a man perfect. The best part was that they used a bunch of monkeys to prove the theory. Now tell me, who wouldn't wanna buy this theory.
Just when the entire nation was fuming and frowning at the dismal performance of our cricketers, and was secretly hoping the players spent more time in the nets and hone their skills, they come up with such studies, and what's worse, they publish it to the public.
Most of us have seen and realized how great the on-screen chemistry is between the two lovers, I mean cricket lovers - they are cricket lovers merely because there is lot of money in it - Mandira Bedi and Navjot Sidhu. Now let me tell you a little known secret about a stupid contest between them. The contest is to get our cricketers to respond to their e-mails, and so far, according to some inside information, Mandira has an edge. Now Sidhu, in a desperate attempt to send across the article on the aforementioned study to the team, and with the good intention to prevent them from sweating out trying to become perfect, comes up with an ingenious idea and titles the subject of the mail: "Mandira's HOT pics."
The scene is in a local cyber-cafe somewhere in South Africa (SA), where Sreesanth and V.R.V Singh are hanging out trying to get SA women to chat with them. So far they haven't been successful, for the SA women don't remember seeing them in any AD. Normally our players don't fall for the trap and seldom open such mails, but Sreesanth being a rookie falls for it, thanks to the subject. Sreesanth, disappointed at first, but after reading the mail, starts to do his trade-mark dance and riles up the owner of the cafe and eventually both are thrown out. I'm guessing the dance, in one of the tribes in SA, to which the cafe owner once belonged to, means: "I'm gonna pee here no matter what!"
They carry the news to the rest of the team, and everybody's excited at the findings of the study. Here's what a few cricketers thought:
Kumble: No wonder why I've been unsuccessful in trying to spin the ball like Shane Warne and ALWAYS end up bowling straight. The theory suggests no matter what I do, I can't get better. Maybe I'll try to surpass Warne in becoming more controversial by my off the field antics. Let me go check if there's a night club around by name "Spinn".
Tendulkar: Alright, I've been relegated from a classy player to a barely-average performer, but the study says there's no scope for improvement. I think I'll go check when my contract with "Boost" expires, maybe it's time for renewal. Hey, what with King Khan endorsing "Lux" and more men taking to endorsing cosmetics - Fair and Handsome is good! - maybe I should try some such thing. I'll google around for someone to talk to at WHISPER and express my interest in endorsing it. My wimpish voice is ideal for it. Maybe I'll become queen...err, King Sachin some day.
Sehwag: Yay! I no longer have to worry about getting back my lost-forever form. I can put on my locally made suit and have women all over the world chase me. Then I can get on National television and create AIDS awareness and while I'm at it, I deliberately DON'T talk about being faithful to one's partner. I cannot preach what I don't practice!
Dravid: Well, what difference would such studies make to the "WALL". But yeah, now I don't have to spend as much time at the nets. Let me go check with the "Anchor" folks to see if any house back home or here needs switch replacement. I can take rest of the players with me to help out.
And don't even get me started on the Indian Hockey and Football teams! I say that because I know nothing about them, and any attempt to continue to write about them may result in mere exaggeration and/or false allegations.
P.S: I don't care who wins the "eliciting most e-mail responses" contest, but if Mandira's HOT pics are indeed floating around, I'd like to have them.
Just when the entire nation was fuming and frowning at the dismal performance of our cricketers, and was secretly hoping the players spent more time in the nets and hone their skills, they come up with such studies, and what's worse, they publish it to the public.
Most of us have seen and realized how great the on-screen chemistry is between the two lovers, I mean cricket lovers - they are cricket lovers merely because there is lot of money in it - Mandira Bedi and Navjot Sidhu. Now let me tell you a little known secret about a stupid contest between them. The contest is to get our cricketers to respond to their e-mails, and so far, according to some inside information, Mandira has an edge. Now Sidhu, in a desperate attempt to send across the article on the aforementioned study to the team, and with the good intention to prevent them from sweating out trying to become perfect, comes up with an ingenious idea and titles the subject of the mail: "Mandira's HOT pics."
The scene is in a local cyber-cafe somewhere in South Africa (SA), where Sreesanth and V.R.V Singh are hanging out trying to get SA women to chat with them. So far they haven't been successful, for the SA women don't remember seeing them in any AD. Normally our players don't fall for the trap and seldom open such mails, but Sreesanth being a rookie falls for it, thanks to the subject. Sreesanth, disappointed at first, but after reading the mail, starts to do his trade-mark dance and riles up the owner of the cafe and eventually both are thrown out. I'm guessing the dance, in one of the tribes in SA, to which the cafe owner once belonged to, means: "I'm gonna pee here no matter what!"
They carry the news to the rest of the team, and everybody's excited at the findings of the study. Here's what a few cricketers thought:
Kumble: No wonder why I've been unsuccessful in trying to spin the ball like Shane Warne and ALWAYS end up bowling straight. The theory suggests no matter what I do, I can't get better. Maybe I'll try to surpass Warne in becoming more controversial by my off the field antics. Let me go check if there's a night club around by name "Spinn".
Tendulkar: Alright, I've been relegated from a classy player to a barely-average performer, but the study says there's no scope for improvement. I think I'll go check when my contract with "Boost" expires, maybe it's time for renewal. Hey, what with King Khan endorsing "Lux" and more men taking to endorsing cosmetics - Fair and Handsome is good! - maybe I should try some such thing. I'll google around for someone to talk to at WHISPER and express my interest in endorsing it. My wimpish voice is ideal for it. Maybe I'll become queen...err, King Sachin some day.
Sehwag: Yay! I no longer have to worry about getting back my lost-forever form. I can put on my locally made suit and have women all over the world chase me. Then I can get on National television and create AIDS awareness and while I'm at it, I deliberately DON'T talk about being faithful to one's partner. I cannot preach what I don't practice!
Dravid: Well, what difference would such studies make to the "WALL". But yeah, now I don't have to spend as much time at the nets. Let me go check with the "Anchor" folks to see if any house back home or here needs switch replacement. I can take rest of the players with me to help out.
And don't even get me started on the Indian Hockey and Football teams! I say that because I know nothing about them, and any attempt to continue to write about them may result in mere exaggeration and/or false allegations.
P.S: I don't care who wins the "eliciting most e-mail responses" contest, but if Mandira's HOT pics are indeed floating around, I'd like to have them.
posted by Sams @ 7:05 AM
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